Dad

William (Bill) Joseph Farrell was born on March 28, 1929 in Racine Wisconsin, just south of Milwaukee. He died on Jan 6, 1986 at 56 years old. See our Farrell Ancestry.

He and his siblings had a rough childhood. Ruth, his oldest sister, matter-of-factly told me on a drive to Northern Wisconsin that their father was 'a drunk'. "Oh", she said, "you didn't know that?" Apparently he could be very fun and entertaining when he wanted to be, but when he was drunk, which was pretty often, he could be pretty mean.

Also, she said, "he used to pick on Billy quite a bit. Dad thought Billy was a sissy." Billy (Dad) was the oldest boy, and it seems that his dad may have been a macho man, having fought in the war and all. Apparently Billy may have been a disappointment to him.

Around the time when Dad was 16 years old (1945) their Mom died and Social Services took the younger kids away. The  drunken dad was having a hard time making ends meet. Billy and his younger brother Jim went to work on a mink farm, I guess raising mink for their skin. It must not have been very rewarding work, because as soon as he could enlist, Billy joined the Army and served a tour in Panama.

Here is a letter that Ruth wrote sometime after their 2nd family reunion in the 90's. It was in response to a letter that Pat (the youngest of the Farrell siblings) wrote asking the others to share what they knew about their early family. Apparently Dad attended the first reunion about 1970. But was likely dead by the time they had the 2nd reunion.

Learn about his and Mom's early life together.

He was an engineer by trade, working for the State of California as a highway designer. He was pretty smart. If you needed help with Algebra, he was they guy to find, or at least TRY to find. Sometime around 1967, he took a second FULL-TIME job at a parking garage on 5th and Mission. I wondered if he worked 16 hrs. a day so that he didn't have to come home to the chaos of 10 kids. I could definitely see the temptation there.

As I recall, he wasn't the most affectionate person, but can you really hold that against him given his tenuous childhood. I am not real warm and fuzzy either. I guess it just sort of moves from generation to generation.

He did like to play catch with his boys, bowl, and in his late 30's, he started to play golf. I liked to go out to McClaren golf course with him on Sunday mornings with Mr. Jerome down the street. He would give me a 5 iron and a ball and I would fend for myself. He definitely passed his athleticism on to his kids. 

Dad was pretty handy around the house and cars. He would take on almost anything with his limited time, funds, and tools. I am sure this was mostly out of necessity. I remember helping him work on the old Rambler, fiddling with the timing, changing the brakes, and that sort of stuff. Just for fun, he moved the 'three-on-the-tree' shifter to a three-on-the-floor. I was pretty impressed with that. Most of his kids are also pretty handy.

When he was around 40 yrs. old, he left his wife and 10 kids. We kids are still unsure what events, if any, led up to that decision. I guess it really doesn't matter. Unfortunately, that seems to have become his defining moment, what people (his kids) remember most. He moved maybe five miles away with a woman and her couple of kids. He may as well moved to the other side of the planet, because he didn't reach out to his kids, and we were highly discouraged by our grandmother (and partly mom) to make contact with him.

Update: Around 2020 during the global Covid pandemic, my siblings would routinely gather on Zoom to play cards and chat. During one of these sessions, Mike shared that Mom, now passed away, was the one cheating on Dad with Jack. This lasted for a couple years with Mom saying that she would stop, but never did. Dad finally moved out.

Although shocking to all of us, the story answered many lingering questions. The biggest of which for me was, who was Jack and why was he hanging around the house so soon after Dad moved out? And does Dad know about Jack? I clearly remember Nana also being at the house soon after Dad moved out. She, and Mom by quiet consent, forbade use to contact Dad. I wonder if Nana knew the truth about Dad? After hearing the story, I have a new-found respect for Dad. He could easily have told us all the truth and escalated the fight over custody of us kids.

The following childhood pictures of Dad were supplied by his sister Ruth. Learn more about my visit with his sisters in Northern Wisconsin.

Ruth, Mom, Billy, Grace (1930)

Billy in Panama

 See the ancestry webpage to learn more about Dad's kin.