Steve

As usual, I sat at my work computer in the home office on a very warm Friday afternoon on June 20, 2014. I decided to take a short break from the grind and check out a Facebook post that June told me about concerning Jamie. After that, I noticed in the upper-left corner of the Facebook page, "Messages; Other (1)". I clicked the link and the following appeared, dated April 1, 2015:

Hello Mr. Farrell,

My husband and I are looking for a gentlemen by the name of Gary Farrell or Farrow, who may have been in the Air Force around 1974-75 in Thailand. We know very little about this man Gary, but that he was from the Bay area, had a brother or a friend named Steve, and was in the Air Force stationed in Thailand for a short time. He fathered a child with a woman named Sa'Awi Chaheim, who is my husband, Steve.

His Thai name given is Sombatchat Chaheim. Steve would like to find his biological father and we thought looking on Facebook would be a good place to start. I know this is a long shot, but if you could please write me back if you have any information. At this point we aren't sure if the gentleman's name is Gary Farrow, Farrell, or Feddow, because of Sa'Awi's heavy accent.

Thank you for your time, I apologize for any inconvenience.

With Warm Regards,

Nadine Montoya-Donoho

 

For the past 40 yrs. I lived with the thought, buried way back in my mind, that some day an angry 15 yr. old boy would appear at my door and demand that I explain why I abandoned him when he was a baby. Obviously, as the years passed, I didn't update the vision with the age of the boy. So when I received that actual message, and quickly checked his Facebook profile, I learned that Steve was a 40 yr. old successful man with a wife and family. I had no trouble embracing his request for contact.

So my reply...

Wow! I just saw this today and SHOCK is the word to describe my feelings. Yes, I am definitely Steve's biological father. I knew his mother as Sandy. And that is about the extent of what I knew about her. I was 21 yrs old at the time. Anyhow, I am sure Steve has many questions, as do I. I am completely open to talking with Steve. From the little I can see, it looks like the two (or three, or four?) of you are very happy. I would rather not blast the story out on FaceBook at this point, but we can start with email if he likes. Here is my email address: gfarrell002@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from either of you.

- Gary

BTW: My middle name is Steven.


Steve's first email a couple days later:

Hello Mr. Farrell,

I am so happy to finally have the opportunity to introduce myself to you. I have wondered for a very long time whether I would ever be able to; since my mom first told me about you, I was just a kid. I have done some good old fashioned phone book searches for your name a few times throughout the years, but never made the calls. Upon seeing a few stories of people finding their lost loved ones, my wife convinced me that we could look through social media, facebook too. Hence her message to you. She has already expressed to you how little we knew of you, so by chance we certainly got lucky!

So first and foremost I want to express my gratitude for your response and acknowledgement. I know how much of a shock it must have been, as well as the mix of emotions you may be feeling. Secondly, I want you to know that my search for you comes with no ill will or expectations, but simply the chance to get to know you and more about my history.

A bit about me, from the beginning. I was born on July 25, 1975, although my mom says it was the 20th and it took 5 days to report the birth.We came to the US with my mother's husband at the time, Charles Berger, in 1976. He was in the air force, stationed in New Hampshire. Then about 1980 we moved with him to Guam. I have a brother, Chris who was born that year. He is currently serving in the Army, stationed at Ft. Benning, Georgia. Shortly after my brother was born, my mom and Chuck separated and she met Jeff Donoho, who later adopted me when I was 13. We moved to Florida in 1981 where Jeff was stationed at Patrick Air Force base. I grew up in Satellite Beach, and graduated from high school in 1994. I moved to Colorado the day after I graduated to meet my mom and Jeff, who was stationed at Buckley Air Force Base my junior year of high school. (I lived with a friend and his dad my senior year.)

I have lived in Colorado since then. I was married to Sandra in 2003, we have a daughter, Sophia, born July 20, 2006. I was divorced in 2007. I met my wife Nadine, and we got married April 11, 2009. Our son Joshua was born June 29, 2009. More recently, our second son Lucas was born January 7, 2014.

Professionally, I am a manager with Kaiser Permanente. We own a home in Henderson, CO, just northeast of Denver.I am a huge fan of all Colorado sports teams, but especially the Broncos!

My mom, who goes by Sammy, or more lovingly known as Grammy, is doing well. She is close to our family and a big part of my life. She currently watches the baby during the day and lives for her grandchildren.

Again, I am happy to have begun this conversation with you. I am eager to hear more about you and your family!

Kind regards,

Steven Earl Donoho


Several emails, and eventually phone calls took place over the following weeks and months. From the very first email and then phone call, I was impressed with Steve's polite, yet easy-going nature. I recall that he asked, "So, are you pretty laid-back? Because my Mom is definitely not, so I always wondered if I inherited this from my biological father." Yep, I have never been accused of being high-strung, dramatic, or OCD.

On Memorial Day weekend 2015, Steve and Nadine (his wife) visited his biological family for the first time.

Here are a few pictures from that weekend (thanks to Nadine and June):