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It's the summer of 2016. I have been retired about a year now, and what a wonderful time it has been. I am just getting passed the feeling of guilt, mixed with a vague feeling of getting away with 'playing hooky'. I play a lot of golf and tennis, both of which I started playing in high school.
I recently had a confrontation with a long-time, very competitive, friend on the tennis court. It bothered me a lot, and caused me to do some soul-searching. Competition has always been a big part of my life. I think it partially has to do with growing up with 8 brothers. The simple act of eating is a lesson in survival and competition. But far more subtle is the emotional competition of finding one's place in the pecking order, in both the family and social structures. Being rather small in stature, I had to regularly do battle with my next-youngest brother for my rightful place. He was always as big or bigger than myself. I took an aggressive approach and waged a head game with him, teasing him mercilessly. Eventually we would fight and I would usually dig deep to make sure I ended up on top.
Let's take a moment to consider all of the competitive venues in which 'winning' seems critical. There is obviously the economic game, the social game among friends, the workforce game, the family game, and the all-important romantic relationship game. These are just the obvious low-hanging fruit.
Unfortunately there are still some people in the world who have to compete with others for their basic needs like food and shelter. But most of us compete for more frivolous reasons, like the never-ending want for a better life, or the never-ending compulsion to inflate our ego.
Competition plays a major part in our society. I am told this competitive nature is not necessarily common to all cultures around the world, but IS a major characteristic of the American spirit. And not surprisingly, it seems to have served us well.
The world, our country, and our communities are rife with unhealthy competition. First, let me define 'unhealthy' as being any hint of causing division between people. In its extreme form there is HATE. Currently there is a very hotly-contested political campaign for president, which seems to be pitting 'Us versus Them'. There is a LOT of hate happening on both sides. And there is no end in sight.
Then, on a seemingly lighter note, there are several Bay Area sports teams that are competing for championships right now. Do you want to see a very visible showing of competition bringing out the worst in people? Watch a bar full of Warriors fans during a contested Championship game, or San Jose Sharks fans, or a Giants versus Dodgers game. Sports events that contain a large number of fans from both teams together can erupt in disaster as demonstrated in soccer games all over the world. And what is really at stake for any of the individuals lives, barring a large wagers? Very little if anything. In other words, what motivates us to behave like this? Competition, seemingly just for its own sake.
I am sure there are many studies that look at the psychological and sociological implications of competition. But to view it in a more practical sense, what if we (I) were to view all people as actually being on the same team. We are ALL in this for the larger common good of humanity; One big, happy family.
I have noticed that I am definitely prone to being influenced by a competitive person. Try as I might to be all-loving, when I find myself across the net from someone who wants to beat my ass, I will try to meet the challenge. Is it possible to accept this challenge and maintain a lighthearted position. Sometimes I feel like Bruce the shark in Finding Nemo. He tries to fight his instinct to eat fish, but he also knows that this is a very deeply-ingrained instinct. Is it possible to turn that tide? That would be a lesson in tolerance and patience.