CW and T

The following story may, or may not, be historically accurate. The names have been slightly changed to protect what is left of the subject's dignity.

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a young lad named CW. He lived in a simple home in a very simple village in the hill country in the northern area of the kingdom. He was a very happy and well-adjusted boy, despite the fact that his parents no longer lived together. To his delight, they were mostly preoccupied with his much younger brother and other, seemingly more important business. He spent most of his time in the company of his very precocious friends. The boys were not mean-spirited, and rarely did their shenanigans lead to anything more serious than a bruised ego or at worst a short suspension from school. By the time they were teenagers, the boys came to be known affectionately throughout the village as, “The boneheads”.

At the same time, in a village just north of CW, there lived a very beautiful young lass named T. Her brother and sisters had already grown and moved out of the affluent family home. Her parents loved her dearly, and had become very protective of their last remaining child at home.

One day at school – pajama day - CW spotted the young lass across the courtyard. She was very young indeed, barely 16 years of age, while he was almost 18 years. But that did not deter the young lad. He asked his friend Louie, one of  the more well-connected boneheads, about the young lass. “Dude”, said Louie, (as that is how the boneheads always addressed one another) “she is totally out of your league.” But young CW was again unwavering, and asked Louie to introduce them through another mutual friend. And so it was. They met, and chatted at length. Phone numbers were exchanged.  However, CW did not own a mobile phone as they were a very extravagant commodity in those days. In the subsequent days CW developed a serious illness: the kissing disease, and fell out of communication with T. She assumed that CW had a change of heart. But weeks later when he recovered, he again met her at school and explained the unfortunate circumstances.

Thereafter, each day they would meet at school and engage in small talk. Eventually they went on a formal first date at the local cinema. CW's lowly status and lack of adult supervision caused him to select a horribly inappropriate movie: “Bad Santa”. But this omen was apparently overlooked by T, and the two enjoyed their first date together.

Not long after, young CW had an opportunity to meet T's mom. This came about when very young T was invited to CW's family home, with several of the boneheads, to watch an annual primitive event known as the “superbowl”. CW's father, would not be at the home. He had obviously fallen asleep at the wheel as he was not aware that the boneheads had become adept at securing alcoholic beverages even though they were all under the legal drinking age. Being inexperienced, and also wanting to fit in with the cool older boys, T drank way too much alcohol and became hopelessly inebriated. They decided that the best thing to do would be to call her Mom to come pick up her drunken, underage daughter. When she arrived, CW met her outside, introduced himself, and explained the situation. T was grounded immediately and CW became a very sore subject at the parents home. Although the new relationship was kept a secret from T's parents, their friendship flourished in the following weeks and months.

Many months passed, when another, more fateful indiscretion occurred. CW had graduated from High School and was half-heartedly attending the local junior college. CW's father would sometimes allow a few of the boneheads to spend the night, even on nights that he was planning to be gone. CW always promised there would be no other visitors.

On one such evening, CW's father had left for the night as planned. However, at dinner he ingested some bad Chinese food and decided to instead return home. The streets near the home were unusually crowded with parked cars. “Hmm”, he thought as he rounded the corner down the street, “perhaps the Harringtons are having a party?” However, as he rounded the corner in front of his home, it quickly became apparent that HE was having a party and wasn't invited! The front yard was packed full of young people, the lights in the house were all on ,and loud music was spilling out onto the street.

In a screaming rage, the father went from room to room, chasing out the young people, eventually finding young CW in the yard. “This”, he said to CW, “was your going-away party. It's time for you to move out on your own. When you decide to grow up and go back to school, I will help you.” They cleaned up the home together in silence.

CW was obviously bored with school and restless to seek out new adventures with his friends. So within days, he announced that he would be packing his old, green car and making the long journey to the decadent, immoral Southern Metropolis.

T's parents were no doubt overjoyed with this news. However, Tee was very distraught and pleaded for CW to stay. Although T was anxious to move from her small, sleepy, uncool village, she was still too young to be on her own. She had one more year of High School in her future. But CW assured her that they would speak often on the phone (he had by now managed to acquire his own mobile phone) and he would return to visit as often as he could. And so it was.

Although exhilarating, CW also found the expansive Southern metropolis to be difficult. He had arranged to share a tiny room with a high school friend (Darrell) in Ventura. CW found work selling trinkets, such as fish lamps, and flying monkeys, on the streets of this quaint village. After 6 months of living in a single closet-sized room, they found a bigger apartment in a nearby village. As luck would have it, just outside their new apartment near a dumpster, lie an old, abandoned mattress. CW quickly called 'dibs' on the mattress, and received no rebuttal from Darrell.

Meanwhile, back in the north country, T completed her studies in High School and was making plans to continue in a trade known simply as “Fashion”. Although she still missed CW, her life was relatively comfortable and easy.

In the south however, CW's life was anything but comfortable or easy. His old green car had broken down beyond repair. His attempts at selling cheap trinkets to strangers on the street yielded him only long days and a thin wallet. And he missed Tee. So by and by, after more than a year of painful lessons, he decided to quit his work, say goodbye to friend and roommate Darrell, and head home to the beautiful north country. And so it was.

T warmly welcomed CW home. She had found work at the local fair, making and selling cinabuns. He quickly fell into construction work along side Stevie, one of the more notorious boneheads. Since they would be working for an apartment rental company, they also received an apartment that they would share as part of their compensation. Although she  found it difficult to spend a prolonged period of time in the unkempt apartment, T would occasionally cook dinner for the young men, and bring them left over cinabun products. Things seemed to be working out nicely for the young couple.

That is, until T decided that she would like to pursue her career at, none other than the fashion epicenter of the universe, the Southern Metropolis. And so it was, this time, leaving CW behind. She drove her reliable vehicle south, established her own room, and proceeded to make a life in the upbeat and swanky confines of the fashion college.

For months, CW grew, quite literally, in his handyman trade alongside Stevie. Together they learn plumbing, painting, framing, and other useful skills. In fact, along the way CW had finally found favor with T's Mother. In his spare time, he used his new-found handyman skills to work on her own rental apartments. CW was now making better money, so he bought a truck to help haul the many tools he was acquiring.

But after another year or so, CW began to miss T and became weary of the day-in, day-out grind of physical labor. The situation came to a head one fateful day while crawling around in the dark, confining space under a house. Maybe it was water retainage, or exhaustion, or the years of indulging in fast food and drinking beer. But at the end of the day, the young man could not squeeze his way back out through the opening from whence he came. Somewhere in the course of what seemed like hours weighing several precarious extraction options, he decided that his life with Stevie was over. He would drive back down to the hellish underbelly that is the southern metropolis to be with T.

But T was busy, happy, and quite fulfilled in her education process. So he made arrangements to live with Lance, Dru, and Brad, three of the original boneheads, along with his old roommate Darrell in Canoga Park, a village on the northern edge of the southern metropolis. However, his old buddies had neglected to inform him before his arrival that his room was actually more of a walk-through office without a door. Nevertheless, he decided to cash in on his new found skills and quickly found work as a skilled interior painter. Then another step backward: after almost a year in their home, they learned that the person they were subletting from was not paying the landlord, who was now coming after them for the arrears. The young men manage to avoid litigation, but not after learning yet another scary lesson about life in the big, ugly city to the south.

A more experienced CW, still just 21 years of age, took on one job after another: an apprentice cabinet maker, an apprentice with a general contractor, and finally with a man who serviced coi ponds. All of them barely payed minimum wage. He found it increasingly difficult to compete in a trade with so many equally qualified, more experienced, and more willing to work for so little money.  He began to reevaluate his chosen profession. Eventually, he decided to again head north and return to school with a new found motivation. And so it was.

Back in the family home, CW steadily knocked out his prerequisite coursework in the span of two semesters. For work, he contacted his former employer at the rental apartments who was happy to have him back. Eventually he chose the legal profession and researched schools to complete an AA in paralegal studies. Coincidentally, he found one that was located in Pasadena, in the dreaded southern metropolis.

CW's truck was beginning to show signs of wear, as well as extensive tear. Brett, his younger brother, had recently met with his own misfortune. With just a learners permit, he was stopped very late one night by the local police, just south of the home village. He was cited for 1) excess speed, 2) driving without an adult. 3) Having a friend in the car. Their father was called to come drive the youngster home. Brett immediately lost driving privileges for the foreseeable future. Brett's misfortune becomes CW's good fortune, as he is allowed to trade in his prematurely old beaten, inefficient, work truck for the relatively new green Dodge Stratus, also known as “The Turtle”.

Back in the southern metropolis, T graduated from fashion college. She and her roommate friend started their own business as a fashion blogger, making connections with name-brand labels, getting free clothes, and writing about the current fashions. Although they were busy and getting lots of nice clothes, they began to have trouble paying the bills.

So for the third and final time, CW drove The Turtle into the very bowels of the southern sewer. He moved in with T and her friend/roommate in their swanky apartment. His goal this trip was to continue his education at Pasadena Junior College.

After nearly a year, he once again became sick of the LA scene. He gained weight, and although he completed his education, he was having a difficult time finding meaningful employment. He took a part time job at Home Depot, which only added to his failing self-esteem. The relationship had become imbalanced, and she clearly had the upper hand. CW wrote her a heart-felt letter, explaining that he needed to get back what he had lost, and can't do that in the current setting. He encouraged her to date other guys, as he would eventually date other women. He packed his few clothes, climbed into the Turtle, and once and for all, headed north to the idealic setting that was his home. And T understood.

This iteration however, found the boneheads, not in the north country, but in the Northern Metropolis, which was only slightly less a toilet than the southern metropolis. Nevertheless, CW managed to squeeze into a small bedroom with Lance, his longest-term bonehead friend. While working part time in construction, he enrolled, with his father's help, in the local state college. 

It would be remiss to omit a small footnote in the bonehead history: Almost all of the boneheads were accomplished, or at least experienced, musicians. And this was a golden opportunity to get the band, Salty DeVito, back together.

CW was becoming his old, but slightly wiser, self.  He eventually completed the requirements for a Bachelors degree in paralegal studies. He was 26 years old. 

In the south, T was finally growing weary of her life. Her business was struggling. And despite her good looks and fashionable wardrobe, she has found the dating scene to be unfulfilling. She decided to move back to the beautiful north country. 

T spent the next several months reconnecting with her parents and friends in the family home. Over time, she slowly reconnected with CW in the northern metropolis.

Concurrently, relationships among the boneheads were becoming strained at the tightly-packed home. CW took it upon himself to find a much larger home with enough space for all of the boneheads, including their girlfriends. Coincidentally, this home was in the same neighborhood as that of his father's childhood home many years previous. T found work in her chosen profession at a women's apparel company with whom she had fostered a relationship in her business.

In the coming months and years, life bloomed for the maturing couple. They had each developed semi-fulfilling jobs. Over the years, as lives evolved, they welcomed new roommates into their large home. Many of them becoming life-long friends, with the inherent loyalty of the Boneheads, but with a dash of wisdom and maturity.

Then, one year while they traveled in a foreign country with two of their new friends, Marco and Gabby, CW surprised T with an engagement ring. As he stooped to one knee, he asked his long-time friend and sweetheart if she would be his forever. She said, "Yes!"

And so it was.